oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
