At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
