I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize