I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
