Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize