So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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