something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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