Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize