do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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