guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
