take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
