I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize