your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
