THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
