Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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