I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
