all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
