yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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