My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
