Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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