Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
