so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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