i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize