I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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