the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
