brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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