So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
