fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
