it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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