More tranny stories later!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize