after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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