I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize