Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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