Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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