The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
