How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize