windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
