I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
