Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
