i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
