The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Boobs are out for the taking
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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