Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
