my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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