Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
