whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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