this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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