The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
