shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
