well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
