May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
