My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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