my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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