I didn't shave. On purpose
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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