a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
