She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Panties = found
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize