i will never coherently bang her
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
