What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
