I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
