im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
