Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
