Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
