does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
