I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
