Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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