What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
