Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it glows. i had to have it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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