Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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