I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
