Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
