The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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